The Best Worst Idea I've Ever Had

Some say being an entrepreneur is a neurological disorder.

I’m about to prove their point.

My particular brand of neurosis is that business ideas pop into my head like weeds breaking through a concrete sidewalk– whether I want them to or not. The deals just keep coming, day in and day out. I have no say in the matter, no control. 

To switch metaphors, these ideas are a bit like stray cats. (Does that make me a childless cat lady?? Wait— I’m a guy… with kids!) So, at the very most, I guess that makes me a stray cat man.

In this stray cat deal universe, all you can do is decide which stray cats get let into the house and which ones are too unstable and need to stay in the back yard. Of course, a few backyard strays still manage to sneak inside– I have a soft spot for these feral rogues. My idea for the ‘poop deck’ was one such feral rogue.

This whole deal idea started with a new puppy, which is funny since I was just talking about cats. But it’s fitting, because one great thing about cats is you can train them to do their business in a litterbox, and they‘re perfectly happy to stick with it. Puppies…not so much. 

They go wherever they want, and whenever they want.  But what if you could create cat-like conditions for dogs where they do their business in one, easy-to-manage, cleanable spot– just like cats?

Admit it, you can feel a business deal brewing, right?

How my best idea went to the dogs

So, like any good entrepreneur, I did my research. Turns out, there are plenty of products catering to this concept– sprays that ‘attract’ dogs to certain spots, and all sorts of other gadgets leading one to believe that dogs can be like cats in this regard.

Only, to skip ahead to the end of this story— they can’t.

But, like any good entrepreneur, I ignored the facts and logic.

I became more and more convinced that I could come up with the ultimate solution. Part of my plan was a moveable and easy-to-clean piece of artificial turf infused with a spray attractant– something no dog could resist when looking for the perfect place to do its business.

Best of all, my business deal would literally be….a business deal! 

Branding and marketing is key to any deal, and I hit it out of the park when I came up with this one: Poop Deck!  Isn’t that brilliant?

Why am I only hearing crickets?

I even had a logo– a golden retriever wearing a pirates scarf on its head, grinning with satisfaction. A speech bubble coming from its toothy snout would say,

“Poop Deck! You’ll be a happy scalliwag and the captain will love the smooth sailin’.”  

The next step for any entrepreneur is to build a prototype to test the concept. So, I bought some of that spray on Amazon and a couple of yards of cheap astroturf (Which, by the way, is expensive!). I sprayed the turf, set it up in the back of the yard, and waited for my scalliwags to set sail on the best idea I had had in years. 

They wandered over… sniffed it… looked confused and …

…Went right back to their usual non-Poop Deck turf to do their business. Really, they went just about everywhere but the Poop Deck.

It quickly became clear that my brilliant idea might need a new name– Kaputt Deck. Doggie no takie.

That’s the way it goes… (#2)

That’s business for you. Some deals you’re sure are winners turn out to be flops, while others you’re not so fond of somehow succeed. It’s not that you “never know,” but you can never be certain. 

Honestly, Poop Deck wasn’t the worst idea I’ve ever had– trust me, there have been plenty worse. 

It’s like getting that souvenir T-shirt that says, “My friend went to Vegas and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

Except mine would say, “President and CEO of Poop Deck– I specialize in crappy deals.”

© Ray Brimble and stringtheorybyraybrimble.com, 2024. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ray Brimble and stringtheorybyraybrimble.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.