Sounds of Silence
If you’re reading this, you already know I have a little problem keeping my big mouth shut. I am just driven by an urge to tell you what I think, feel, believe, hate, love, have no opinion about, or wish would go away. However, as a matter of personal therapy and self discernment, I’d like to share some reflections on the value of silence.. I don’t think any of this will work for me, but maybe it will entice you to shut your own big fat mouth every once in a while. Not that you need to, but…
THE MOUTH HIMSELF
We start with the mouth himself– Ernest Hemingway. Not known to keep his own mouth under wraps, and also known for beating the crap out of others who so dared to speak their piece, Hemingway nevertheless offers up this wonderful bit of good advice:
As near as I can tell, Ernest did not follow his own advice, and was never sober enough to remember what he said he would do when he was drunk. Regardless, we are grateful that he could not keep his mouth (or typewriter) quiet, because he sure had a lot to say, and I, for one, have enjoyed it. There should be a place in this world for the story-spinners.
Could you imagine sitting in the famous Havana bar, La Floridita, having a daiquiri with Hemingway, while he was just blissfully quiet? No way! A special dispensation from the general rule of trying to be fastidious with one's words.
However, it's really not a dispensation, because Hemingway was actually very fastidious with words– he was the master of saying more, with less. It's just that he had so much to say. With this quote, he was not opining on the value of silence, but rather, on the care and circumstance surrounding the sharing of your thoughts.
For Hemingway, inebriation represented a lapse in judgment, and a moment to calibrate one’s promises. For me, I didn’t need to be drunk to make promises I couldn’t keep or might later regret. Everybody does that, of course. But what’s worse: making promises you know are not something you will follow through on. Like saying, “Let's get together, sometime” or, “ I’ll look into it”, or even an innocuous comment such as “I really love that”, when you really don’t.
COWBOY CULTURE
My point here is to try not to be promiscuous with promises. Treating promises and statements of ‘fact’ more carefully probably involves a moment of silence.
But there are plenty of times when another form of silence, ‘quiet’, is in order. Like on a cattle drive. Not that I know anything about driving cattle. I have a hard time driving my car, sometimes. Nevertheless, I can imagine that being on a trail drive with a talkative colleague could get pretty obnoxious.
Old cowboys on the Chisholm were known for saying, “Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
Keeping quiet on the trail was not only to avoid annoying one’s fellow trailrider. It was also about keeping the cattle calm, reserving energy for the long haul and staying observant to the perils of the trail.
Why do we talk too much, anyway? It may be our need to explain or make sense of the way we see the universe. I am doing that now– telling you how I see it.
HAWAIIAN WISDOM
There's an old Hawaiian saying, "What a man says about the universe often says more about the man than the universe." That's it! I say I want to talk about this universe, but I might just want to talk about myself. The problem with this is that the universe is way more interesting than me. The challenge is to say something about the universe that transcends my own limited experience. Talking all the time keeps me from having to confront this challenge head-on.
From Hemingway, it's to avoid promises when you are not sober enough to evaluate them.
From the cowboys, it's about the value of silence and the role it will play in certain settings.
From the Hawaiians, it's being conscious of falling in love with the sound of your own voice, and the need to pontificate.
Why am I going on about all of this, y’all? It's because we now live in a world which values cultivating “look at me” way more than silence. I could even argue that I would never have gotten anywhere if I had kept my mouth shut. So, I never did, and I am not sure I even know how.
Everyone knows how to post their funky dance on TikTok. Yet, we have no idea how to deal with the obvious, and now scientifically proven negative effects of social media on each and every one of us (in particular, teenagers, according to the research). We know how to yell, “look at me”, but not how to appreciate the sounds of silence. I am appealing to you to consider appreciating and cultivating quiet and silence.
Preaching all of this makes me feel righteous, maybe even chaste. I recall the works of an ancient wise man, Augustine of Hippo, who knew the truth as well as anyone who has ever lived. He prayed,
“Lord,
Make me chaste,
But not quite yet.”
I hope that some of you will contemplate the value of silence, but personally, I am not so sure I am ready yet.
So, I will pray,
“Lord, help me to shut my own mouth.
But not quite yet.”