HOW Negativity CHANGES us.

I think of myself as someone who is positive by nature. Yet, all sorts of negativity still seep in. We are living in an age of negativity bias. That is, a proclivity to report and expect the worst. It’s pretty clear that our media and political styles of the day feed on (and off of) this. 

IF IT BLEEDS (NEGATIVITY), IT LEADS

There’s a reason “if it bleeds it leads” works. Coined in the 1890s by William Randolph Hearst during a period when yellow journalism—a phrase that meant sensational, violent stories get prioritized in the evening news—was at an all-time high.

And it holds true today. 

After all, we live in a world where the only thing left to colonize is your attention. And they know this—that’s why they call it the “attention economy.”  Only now, instead of “if it bleeds, it leads,” the concept itself has evolved to include all sorts of social, political, cultural, and spiritual subjects. 

It might be more apt, then, to say, "If it bleeds negativity, it leads." And we eat it up.

Why are we so susceptible? Probably because we are the genetic survivors of a species whose offspring were more likely to survive if they always kept one eye trained on the hungry wolf. We are predisposed to scan for predators like wolves who could be rapping at our door; we are reminded of our predator’s looming presence non-stop, every day, forever.

So, just who or what IS this “wolf?” Could the “wolf” here be our worry about what may or may not come to pass?

THANKS A LOT, LANCELOT

I am reminded of a story written almost 1,000 years ago—part of the legends of King Arthur. Lancelot gets asked to prove his worth by slaying a ferocious dragon in a cave high upon a mountain. He manages to find the dragon lying in wait; they battle, and eventually, the dragon is subdued. Before killing him, however, Lancelot decides (perhaps by strangely modern sensibilities) to have a conversation with him first. I mean, come on, it’s a talking dragon!

So, Lancelot asks the dragon if they’d always been a dragon. 

The dragon says no, and proceeds to tell Lancelot about his life as a successful businessman. The more wealthy the dragon became, the more he worried about holding onto his wealth, making sure he always appeared powerful and handsome to all people, keeping the power that his wealth entitled him to. At the same time, he also became more paranoid that someone might be stealing from him. The more he contemplated these things, the faster he transformed into what you see today—a dragon. 

Unfortunately for the dragon, Lancelot must slay him anyway. 

Now, you might say Lancelot did not kill the dragon...the wolf did. And I would agree. Yes, the very same wolf we worry about was ultimately the one that did the dragon in. The dragon, after all, had become obsessed with the idea of holding and keeping his treasures. Trying to do such a thing is what brings me to my next point.

WHAT TO DO WITH AN EARWORM

The other day the word "hobgoblin" got stuck in my head. Most of us have heard this term, usually around Halloween, when I suppose we are to fear whatever the hell hobgoblins are. As I kid, I certainly did! However, until now, I never bothered to research just WHAT they are. Do you know?

Hobgoblins are apparently an evolved and slightly more devilish version of your common goblin. Now, as to what a goblin is, I am not sure of that, either. I assume they are low-rent mythical beings who cause small amounts of trouble and are generally just pains in the ass. They also seem to be descendants of mythical elf-type beings, called Brownies, who were most famous for doing housework, and occasionally stealing things from you. We have all had some contact with Brownies. Mine was my stepbrother, Henry. Some Brownies, perhaps because they are particularly klepto, or refused to "do windows," graduate to goblin status. Then, if that goblin is particularly obnoxious, they get to become a hobgoblin. 

So, the hierarchy goes: Brownies > Goblins > Hobgoblins.

Still with me? I admit, it sounds confusing.  In fact, the hierarchy was probably devised by an actual hobgoblin just to confuse and frustrate us. That’s what they do.  

But here comes the fun part. My favorite evolution of this hierarchy is what comes after the hobgoblin. Hobgoblins who are particularly good at what they do, presumably hobbing and gobbling, get to become ogres. My favorite! We all know what these ogres do: hide under bridges and scare little kids who cross over. How cool is that? No wonder brownies work so hard—after all, there’s a chance they could work their way up the ranks to become an ogre someday!

FINDING THE MISSING LINK: THE EVOLUTION OF NEGATIVITY

Now, this is all just me making light of the evolution of negativity in our society. Much like how goblins evolve, one negative thought can facilitate the evolution into another, lower form of negativity. Brownie to goblin. Goblin to hobgoblin. Hobgoblin to ogre. There is a certain hierarchy, or shall we say, "lowerarchy," to all of this.  

When magazine, newspaper, or op-ed editors feed our generationally-evolved negativity bias—because they know that our ancestors had to learn how to not get eaten by wolves, and that we are likely to pay attention to things that ignite our fear response—they are essentially suggesting we graduate from brownie to goblin. When we worry more about preserving our appearance of wealth than living an excellent life with gratitude for the abundance around us, we graduate from goblin to hobgoblin. When we become our own fortress against anything which is not about our own ego, we are now full ogres...the very same one that becomes a dragon worth slaying by the end of the story.

I have known brownies, goblins, hobgoblins, ogres—even a dragon or two.  At different times in my life—particularly my professional life—I may have even BEEN one or two of these, myself.  

Anyone who has ever started, run, run from, bought, sold, and/or closed a business knows that most of the time, the daily grind is not that glamorous. Sometimes, it can even be downright scary. 

When thinking back on my professional life, I’m reminded of this famous war-time phrase, "long periods of boredom punctuated by moments of sheer terror." Okay, it’s not THAT bad, but the business world is scary, and it can provide many chances for a slippery slope into increasing negativity—if you let it, that is.

HOLDING & KEEPING VS. HAVING GRATITUDE

When things aren’t going well, it’s easy to develop a negativity bias. This bias may start out as a pity party for one, but, if left unchecked, could escalate into a full-tilt bad attitude. We’ve all known folks like this. Maybe we even see him/her in the mirror some mornings. Buenos días, señor Dragón!

But, how can we arrest this evolution?

I think of a poem, "The Lost Hotels of Paris" by Jack Gilbert, which sums up my feelings well.

The Lord gives everything and charges

by taking it back. What a bargain.

Like being young for a while. We are

allowed to visit hearts of women,

to go into their bodies so we feel

no longer alone. We are permitted

romantic love with its bounty and half-life

of two years. It is right to mourn

for the small hotels of Paris that used to be

when we used to be. My mansard looking

down on Notre Dame every morning is gone,

and me listening to the bell at night.

Venice is no more. The best Greek Islands

have drowned in acceleration. But it’s the having

not the keeping that is the treasure.

Ginsberg came to my house one afternoon

and said he was giving up poetry

because it told lies, that language distorts.

I agreed, but asked what we have

that gets it right even that much.

We look up at the stars and they are

not there. We see the memory

of when they were, once upon a time.

L.P. Hartley once said “the past is a foreign country.” That means mourning the Venice we once knew, the Paris of yore. Now, I am wary of giving you a blanket answer on how we could arrest this de-evolution, but do think it all boils down to gratitude. This means gratitude for “the having", and not “the keeping", as was mentioned in this poem and as was central to the dragon’s story. It means fully knowing and trusting that you have enough.

Just reminding ourselves of that fact, in and of itself, is half the battle. Now, to slay the dragon.